Pulling The Puzzles Apart

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart...
Tue, Oct 28th, 2014 -- 07:31 am
Today's Specials:

So, I'm getting ready to have surgery next week, and as a result they are running all the blood tests on me, to make sure I don't have aliens living in my abdominal cavity or anything.

The University of Chicago Medical Center, where most of my treatment is done, has a new system called MyChart which allows you to email doctors who will never email you back and also to receive the results of any test they run on you -- all tests are filed in a special section you can browse if you ever want to know what your selenium level is, for example (172).

I just found out today, while I was looking at the results from the surgical tests, that the full report on my Mystery Lymphoma from back in February was filed on MyChart. It's amusing reading the progression -- you can watch my doctor getting increasingly annoyed as they test me for every single STD known to man and then, when I come back negative, progress to the really esoteric stuff, like Sweet's Syndrome, before landing on atypical mycosis fungoides lymphoma. ("The good lymphoma.")

I think my favourite part, however, is her initial speculative diagnosis, which reads HSV Zoster vs Arthropod Assault. Arthropod Assault is just doctor speak for bug bite, but it sounds like a bangin' name for a teen garage band.

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Mon, Oct 27th, 2014 -- 08:25 am
Today's Specials:

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

Anon linked to [tumblr.com profile] remindmeofthe, who has been out of work for a while, and is struggling to find a job and make ends meet. She has a donation button up at her tumblr; you can find the button and a post about her situation here, and read more details at her Dreamwidth here.

Sanura, who is probably best known to the Cafe as the voice behind Meg Boudoun's "Star Spangled Man" cover, is raising funds to attend a singing course in the UK. She has opened an Etsy shop and a Zibbet shop with gorgeous jewelery and adornments and some cool chainmail.

Jennifer linked to Recycled Reptiles in Ontario, a reptile rescue and education service which has run into some financial difficulties. They're rehoming many of the animals right now but hope to reopen in the future with help from donations. You can read more at their website here and find donation information at their facebook here.


Help for Free:

sibylle is a researcher in literary studies and will be spending eight months at the Library of Congress in Washington, DC next year. She's coming from Germany and is looking for people who would be willing to share local knowledge, offer advice on housing, or hang out with "a SciFi/Fantasy geek girl" in 2015. Her LJ is friends-only but she's happy to make contact with folks, and you can read more about her at her website here.


News to Know:

athena_crikey let me know about fanfic-journal.com, which is copying fanfics from LJ en masse and reposting them without notifying or crediting authors. If you find your fic there you can request your fics not be imported on the "complain here" page, and supposedly that will get your fics that are there taken down, though apparently nobody knows if it works. You can find more information here as well.


And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form or via email at copperbadge at gmail dot com. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!).

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Sat, Oct 25th, 2014 -- 07:29 am
Today's Specials:

YOU GUYS. I GET A COUCH TODAY. I'M VERY EXCITED.

The "I don't own a couch" issue became more of an issue and less of a running joke in the past few weeks, as we drew closer to my surgery date in November, since Mum will be here and while I have an air mattress for her to sleep on (seriously, it's the best air mattress ever), I don't have many places for either of us to sit during the day.

The Fauxfa, made of a futon nailed to a wall and a bedroll on top of it, wasn't going to cut it.

So mum went and tested out sofas at Ikea, and when it was a toss up between a cheap one I liked and an expensive one she liked, she said she'd make up the difference.

COUCH COMING TODAAAAAY.

In the meantime, have some threesome fic! No couches are involved, just a large bed.

Title: Devils and Heathens
Rating: R
Summary: Peggy Carter didn't go looking for trouble, or Bucky Barnes, or a threesome. Sometimes these things just find you.

Here on Dreamwidth | Here on AO3

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Mon, Oct 20th, 2014 -- 05:51 am
Today's Specials:

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways To Give:

Anon linked to a fundraiser for Jennifer and her family, who are facing homelessness after their house was foreclosed on. They're raising $7K to find a new home and get moved in; you can read more and help them get shelter here.

[personal profile] secondsilk linked to Jez Pez, who is raising money for two transgender refugees in Victoria, Australia, with basic living expenses. You can read more about their plight and help them with basic necessities here.

rurounihime linked to a fundraiser for Tashina and her family, who are living out of their car after several financial misfortunes; they're at the point where they're considering putting their kids into the foster system just to get a roof over their heads. You can read more and help them get housing and help for their kids here.

[personal profile] brainwane linked to Strange Horizons, an online nonprofit magazine which publishes speculative fiction by diverse authors and on diverse themes. Because they are no-ad, they're funded by donations, and they're in their yearly funding drive, trying to raise between $13.5K and $15K. You can read more about the magazine and support their work here.

[tumblr.com profile] levynite's city, Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia, has been badly affected by Typhoon Vong Fong, and the local SPCA has been flooded out. The animals have been rescued, but they need funds to shelter the animals and to rebuild. Their facebook page has donation details, but the money transfers always incur an extra fee, so Levy is doing an informal collection; if you're interested in donating, contact levynite at gmail.com and Levy will send you a paypal request (Paypal got...complicated).

Help For Free:

[tumblr.com profile] donotlookatthedogpark is asking for askbox distractions this winter, as they work on their sobriety and deal with the depression winter's dark and cold can often bring on. You can read more and find a link to their askbox here.

frenchroast has entered their cat Sherlock in the Publix Paws Photo contest that I mentioned last week, with the winner receiving free groceries from the store. Frenchroast is donating a portion of the prize, if they win, to a local rescue organization; you can vote for Sherlock here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form or via email at copperbadge at gmail dot com. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!).

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Sun, Oct 19th, 2014 -- 08:37 am
Today's Specials:

Happy Sunday morning, everyone!

I am slightly hung over, banged up around the edges from a spill I took coming home, and POSTIN' FANFIC.

Title: The Son Of Man
Rating: PG (language, violence)
Summary: JARVIS did not want to be a real boy. He was quite happy being a building.
Notes: Beta thanks to Hailtherandom and Knottahooker on tumblr!
Warnings: This story contains extensive discussion-of/scenes-regarding body dysmorphia which may be triggering for some individuals.

Here at Dreamwidth | Here at AO3

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Sat, Oct 18th, 2014 -- 05:45 pm
Today's Specials:

I'm over at R's today, a habit we've begun to develop due to the epic amounts of college football you get on Saturdays, and how R needs his college football because we've both quit watching the NFL in disgust. But of course, conversation wanders from football frequently.

R: I'm going to a wedding next week.
Sam: Oh yeah? Where is it?
R: It's out in the woods.
Sam: The woods? That narrows it down.
R: You know, the woods!
Sam: Oh sure, the woods, you take The Road to get to The Woods.
R: It's way past West City. You know where Beaten Path is?
Sam: Don't you dare --
R: IT'S JUST OFF BEATEN PATH.

Bless.

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Wed, Oct 15th, 2014 -- 07:14 am
Today's Specials:

I wasn't feeling well last night -- when I got home I was running a mild fever, and the avocado roll from lunch wasn't sitting super well -- so I thought, I want comfort food. I want hot and sour soup, and some pork wontons.

Now, I had soup. I had a lot of soup in my freezer, because surgery is coming up next month, but none of it was hot and sour soup, and none of it came with pork wontons.

SO. I took a risk and ordered from a new place, as I pretty much have to do at this point because my delivery radius changed completely when I moved. And I don't think this new place is necessarily objectively terrible. But after 90 minutes and no soup, for which, I should point out, I wasn't even hungry at that point, I called them.

"Our delivery driver never showed up," they told me. "But we have a replacement, he'll be here soon."

And since I'd ordered fairly early I figured, okay, another hour at most.

Another hour passed, and I called again, and endless hold awaited me. And now it was getting on towards bedtime, but I still wasn't hungry, so I just wanted them NOT to show up at 11pm with my soup.

But I couldn't really do anything about them, since every time I called I just got a recorded hold message, so when I finally got hungry I made myself some soup from the freezer. And promptly dropped it all over the kitchen.

Okay, universe, I get it, you don't want me to eat dinner.

Anyway, I went to bed, figuring if they did show up at 11pm with soup I'd just fucking deal with it somehow, but they never showed up.

Unfortunately, neither did a refund for the food I ordered.

So today I'm calling for a refund! Because god knows, I love calling people.

No soup for me. :(

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Mon, Oct 13th, 2014 -- 08:14 am
Today's Specials:

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

nancylebov linked Siderea, a therapist, programmer, and writer who needs to make a little side money and free up some energy for writing; she's started a Patreon where people can support her posts. You can read more and help out here.

Christian is entering Endure 4 Kindness 2014, raising money to support Random Acts, and as his endurance mission is making friendship bracelets all day on October 18th. Donations go to a good cause and might net you a friendship bracelet! You can read more and support the campaign here.

[tumblr.com profile] dontbearuiner linked to Michael, an Austin artist who makes cigar box guitars and ukeleles, often with a geeky twist. He's trying to get his business in it off the ground; you can check out his work and support his store here. They're looking for a final push since the fundraiser ends on Friday.

Grev linked to a video, "Home", about life in Jerusalem for Israeli and Palestinian youth, and how the YMCA Jerusalem Youth Chorus has created a home there. I'm gonna admit I haven't viewed the video yet, but it sounds really interesting and I'm hoping to soon. You can view it for yourself here and support their work here.

[tumblr.com profile] levynite's city, Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia, has been badly affected by Typhoon Vong Fong, and the local SPCA has been flooded out. The animals have been rescued, but they need funds to shelter the animals and to rebuild. Their facebook page has donation details, but the money transfers always incur an extra fee, so Levy is doing an informal collection; if you're interested in donating, contact levynite at gmail.com and Levy will send you a paypal request (Paypal got...complicated).


Buy Stuff, Help Out:

[personal profile] in_the_bottle can't make it to the Night Vale live shows on October 21st and November 8th, so she's selling her tickets (at cover price) to shows in London. You can read more at her Dreamwidth, LJ, or Tumblr.


Help for Free:

[tumblr.com profile] knottahooker's coworker has entered her dog into the Publix Paws Photo contest, trying to win gift certificates to Publix groceries, and is rallying for votes. You can have a look at Handsome here (and vote without having to register or log in) as well as scroll through tons of pictures of cute animals.


Housing:

off_coloratura is still looking for a third roommate in a Rogers Park apartment in Chicago. $750/mo plus utilities; a private room with shared bath, in-unit laundry, and two cats, close to the red line and grocery. You can view pictures and get more information here.


News to Know:

[personal profile] yamx shared the news that Red Bull has lost a class-action suit regarding misleading advertising, and are required to provide $15 in free Red Bull or $10 to anyone who fills out a claim form that they purchased Red Bull in the past twelve years. No proof of purchase is required; you can read more and find links to the claim forms here.


And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form or via email at copperbadge at gmail dot com. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!).

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Thu, Oct 9th, 2014 -- 02:50 pm
Today's Specials:

I love Office Granddad. And I feel a little sorry for him sometimes because I think they probably just couldn't bring themselves to let him go after he worked here for 25 years, and so put him in a position he's not super duper qualified for just to give him a job. But once in a while I am really frustrated that I work next to him.

The thing is that because I've moved up in the world, I no longer am in charge of scheduling meetings, and rightly so; removing that from my job responsibilities was a huge step in establishing me as Not The Project Manager Anymore. But we gave the job to Office Granddad, whom I once had to teach about "downloading attachments". And by "once" I mean "several times over the course of 2012".

So now it's not so much that he schedules the meetings, as that he attempts to schedule the meetings and then I spend ten to twenty minutes helping him fix the errors he made scheduling the meeting. And I try to be patient and not to grab the mouse from him and just do the damn thing myself, but it's really frustrating for both of us.

I keep waiting for the "oh, I get it now" lightbulb to go on, and in the meantime I am constantly lighting candles...

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Mon, Oct 6th, 2014 -- 07:36 am
Today's Specials:

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Brief housekeeping note -- while you can tag me with a post in Tumblr and I will most likely see it, I want to make sure people know that this is the least reliable way to get my attention, Tumblr being what it is. If you definitely want me to see and write up a post for RFM, your best bet is to fill out the form linked at the bottom (also on my tumblr page, on the sidebar) or email me at copperbadge at gmail. Thanks all!

Ways To Give:

[personal profile] princessofgeeks linked to a fundraiser for Ravenholdt, a fannish vidder whose family needs a functional car in order for her husband to work outside the home. They are currently living on her disability benefits, but her husband wants to work and simply can't without a car. You can read more and support their repair fund here.

[tumblr.com profile] amemait linked to a post</b> about Tina, who is raising money to cover expenses for a much-needed transplant. She's selling "Spoonie" pens, magnets, and pins (yes, related to the famous Spoon Theory). You can read more about her and straight-up donate here, or check out her facebook store here.

Sarah is raising funds to help her family; her brother was shot in the head four years ago, and while he is recovering, the family was left with enormous medical bills that have depleted their financial resources. You can read more about Tommy's recovery and help the family recover financially here.

Lucinda linked to 4A Centre for Contemporary Asian Art in Sydney, a non-profit organization that presents and promotes the work of Asian and Asian-Australian artists. They're working invite the Chinese artist group Yangjing Group to visit and work with the centre, and they're offering some cool perks and raising funds here.

Housing:

[personal profile] newredshoes is moving to New York in a few weeks and is looking for someone to sublet her Chicago apartment in the Ravenswood/Lincoln area. It's a 1BR, pet friendly, close to transit; it's available November 1st and runs through April 30th. You can read more and get in touch here!

News To Know:

GoFundMe recently banned all content "relating to" abortion, while leaving anti-choice campaigns active -- essentially you can fund protests of abortions, but you can't help a woman get one. The date on this is about a month ago, but I checked and the ban is apparently still in place. This DOES NOT MEAN you should not support campaigns run through GoFundMe, because people need to eat and fix their cars and get shelter for their kids and such. But it does mean that if you are considering raising money for any reason and you are pro-choice, you may wish to consider using other sites such as youcaring, giveforward, or indiegogo.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form or via email at copperbadge at gmail dot com. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!).

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Sat, Oct 4th, 2014 -- 08:59 pm
Today's Specials:

So, because I'm going to be off for most of November and (I hope) because I'll have time to do some writing work, I thought I'd try to clear my plate in October. The rule is, I have to either work on a WIP or post a finished fanfic every day.

This is one I completed a while ago; it's the tamest story about an orgy I think I've ever done. :D

Title: After Glow (And Glow, And Glow)
Rating: PG-13 (Pepper/Tony/Steve/Sam/Bucky/Thor/Bruce/Natasha/Clint)
Summary: Tony is going to be a grownup about the orgy everyone just had.
Notes: I saw a post whizz by on my tumblr dash about a Happy Tony Stark fest and while I am crap at formal fests, I thought “Happy Tony Stark” and immediately thought “post-orgy naptime” so here, have this. (The master post for the Happy Tony Stark Project is here.)

Here at Dreamwidth | Here at AO3

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Tue, Sep 30th, 2014 -- 05:45 pm
Today's Specials:

I have 11 completed fanfics to post.

Well, now I have 10.

(Most of them are short and none of them are "new" per se, so I guess enjoy this new one while it lasts, if you can.)

This is fanfic of the film What's Your Number, because I am a shameful person. You may enjoy it even if you haven't seen the film, and I can't really in good conscience recommend you see the film. It's not a good film, you guys.


Title: More Than A Little True
Rating: R
Summary: Colin is going to figure out what Ally's mom's deal is if it kills him.
Warnings: Accidental involuntary drug use; medical issues involving a pregnancy. Nobody dies or is assaulted or more than temporarily unhappy, I promise.

Here at Dreamwidth | Here at AO3

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Tue, Sep 30th, 2014 -- 07:09 am
Today's Specials:

Man, did I mistakenly put on my eau du fuck-with-me cologne this morning?

I have literally been bothered by strangers wanting to talk to me since I left my apartment this morning. Guy on bike in park wanted to know where I was going or possibly wanted my wallet; once I told him to fuck off he pulled his bike in front of me and tried to stop me, so I pushed his bike over. I sense a flaw in your cunning plan, sir.

Got in a cab to get away from yelling guy on (well, now, off) bike, and usually cabdrivers in Chicago are either quiet or talking to someone on their bluetooth. This cabdriver decided to tell me about how he has two wives and eight children. Used to be nine but one of them died. Also the healing powers of coconut oil. Awkward cab ride.

Escaped him and was followed by a person asking me for a dollar (which I do not have and told her so, having given the bigamist cab driver my only twenty) literally to the door of my building.

Never going outside again. Outside is horrible.

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Mon, Sep 29th, 2014 -- 06:35 pm
Today's Specials:

So, GISHWHES is over for the year, which means I can now post these.

I'm not sure why anyone would want to read them, but if you do, here they are.

Title: 13 Ways Of Looking At Misha Collins
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: 78. IMAGE. Get a previously published Sci-Fi author to write an original story (140 words max) about Misha, the Queen of England and an Elopus.
Notes: During this year's GISHWHES competition, I was asked by several groups to fill prompt 78 on the list. Here are the results, plus my letters to the readers of the prompts.

Here at Dreamwidth | Here at AO3

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Mon, Sep 29th, 2014 -- 08:39 am
Today's Specials:

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

First, an update: a few weeks ago I linked to a Donors Choose fundraiser for a rural high school's very undervalued theatre program, raising money for make-up kits; they almost immediately hit their fundraising goal, and they wrote thank-you letters to all the donors. You can read the awesome (and occasionally heartbreaking) letters here and here.

Ways To Give:

[tumblr.com profile] bifrostedcharms is raising money for funeral costs for her sister, who died at the age of 32, leaving her husband and sons with unexpected funeral costs. You can read more and give to the funeral fund here.

[tumblr.com profile] dontbearuiner linked to Michael, an Austin artist who makes cigar box guitars and ukeleles, often with a geeky twist. He's trying to get his business in it off the ground; you can check out his work and support his store here.

[personal profile] twistedchick is asking for help for David Dean, who is seeking $8K to live on for a year while he writes up the curriculum for Unity Hoops, a successful program he created that uses basketball to empower Native American youth. The program itself is covered by grants, so this is just for living expenses. You can read more and support the program here.

Fannish Pursuits:

[personal profile] cadenzamuse is looking for fannish hockey fans who are local to the Columbus Blue Jackets, for meetups and hockey talk. Please contact her via PM on Dreamwidth or comments on her journal if you'd like to get in touch!

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form or via email at copperbadge at gmail dot com. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!).

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Sun, Sep 28th, 2014 -- 08:54 pm
Today's Specials:

R and I had dinner at Maggiano's tonight, which is a nice semi-upscale Italian chain with its home base in Chicago. It was Mum's treat, to make up for me not getting to come home this weekend.

I had seafood canneloni, which was pretty amazing, and R got a steak about six inches thick, which he valiantly finished off along with the sausages and marinated mushrooms that came with it. Which led to the following conversation as we left the restaurant to stroll around the loop for a while.

R: Man, I don't think I've had a real steak like that in about five years. I used to eat a lot of red meat. I'm not sure how I'm gonna react to that steak.
Me: You're gonna get the meat sweats!

And then we got distracted by a walk signal or something. But about fifteen minutes later, as we were heading for the train...

R: Okay you're going to have to explain to me what meat sweats are, because I ate meat and now I'm sweating.
Me: When you eat a lot of meat, you get meat sweats!
R: How long do they last?
Me: Forever.
R: How can I tell the difference between meat sweats and an oncoming heart attack?
Me: Meat sweats are more like, a really full, gouty feeling.
R: Don't tell me what gouty means.

I do miss him when he's not around.

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Sat, Sep 27th, 2014 -- 06:23 pm
Today's Specials:

Oh man, I have been so silent this week. It's been a bonkers week; things have been crazy since Tuesday or so, but they really ramped up with a power outage on Thursday and then the entire midwestern airport network basically shutting down on Friday. I was meant to fly to Austin this weekend for a birthday visit with my folks, but then some poor fuck set fire to himself at the Aurora radar/routing station, and both of Chicago's airports were shut down. It's just as well I didn't try to rebook my flight for today, since today's flight I would have taken was also cancelled.

There were no tickets for next weekend, the weekend after would have cost me $300 extra, the weekend after that I have a preoperation appointment on Monday -- surgery in November, bye bye hernia! -- and the weekend after that is five days from when Mum comes to Chicago anyway.

So, no trip to Austin for me this fall. I'll be there at Christmas, and a little Austin goes a long way, so I'm not super upset about it. Mum's unhappy, but she still gets to go see the play we were going to, so that'll be a nice distraction.

Talking of distractions, I have a ton of fanfic to post in the next few weeks, so here's a start!

Title: Tony Stark On The Rocks
Rating: PG
Summary: Tony can't figure out why his dates keep bolting. It's okay, though, because Steve's always around to keep him entertained.
Notes: Inspired by a discussion with Knottahooker and Scifigrl47 about how Tony's Life, Man.
Warnings: While it's played for laughs, I feel like I should warn that some of Steve's behavior in this is bordering on the not-okay, in a possessive/controlling sense. I don't think it's particularly offensive but people who have been in controlling relationships or have triggers associated with them may wish to proceed with caution.

Here at Dreamwidth | Here at AO3

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Mon, Sep 22nd, 2014 -- 08:05 am
Today's Specials:

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways To Give:

[tumblr.com profile] amemait linked to [tumblr.com profile] chomei, who is raising money for their father's medical treatments and living expenses for both of them after he lost his job. You can read more here and support their gofundme here.

[tumblr.com profile] wehaveallgotknives linked to a fundraiser for Matt, a disabled trans man from North Wales who is trying to move to England for better medical treatment and (hopefully) less persecution. You can read more and help Matt and his fiance move here.


[tumblr.com profile] amemait linked to a fundraiser for Heather Ratcliff, who has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and is raising funds to help with past medical bills and expenses while she's been off work and recovering. You can read more and give to her fund here.

Ashley linked to a kickstarter for Quaint Magazine, an online women's literary magazine "strongly committed to publishing work from traditionally marginalized writers". They're raising funds for their fourth issue, as well as for attendance and a sales table at AWP this coming year. You can read more and support the magazine here.

Duckie's friend Odyrah is raising money for surgery for their rescue kitty, Hacker. Hacker needs surgery to correct an oronasal fistula; you can read more (and see some adorable photos) here; scroll to the bottom for their paypal information.


News To Know:

Ashley linked to a call for papers for the Pop Culture ASsociation/American Culture Association convention that is taking place in New Orleans on April 1-5, 2015. Submissions are open until November 1st; you can check out the conference and get more information about submissions here. Academic fans, you should take a look!

light_of_summer linked to an action site for the People's Climate March, to raise awareness about a world climate change meeting taking place this Tuesday. I'm going to admit I am not really sure I understand what this is or does; the site's a little short on details, but you can read more and explore it for yourself here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form or via email at copperbadge at gmail dot com. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!).

Place Your Order
Sat, Sep 20th, 2014 -- 09:01 am
Today's Specials:

Good morning! It is my 35th birthday today. Indeed, you may leave birthday wishes, tributes, and unkind remarks about my age here.

Like any good 35-year-old, I am going to spend the morning at Costco. I'm even going to drive a car there, like a goddamn grownup. (It's a ZipCar.) I shall have a $1.50 hotdog-and-coke birthday lunch, and return home laden with food staples and more toilet paper than I know what to do with. I shall then likely engage in some home-improvement tasks, as well as cooking a pork loin and possibly making yogurt. It is a rich life I lead. :D

I hope all of you are having as productive a Saturday as I am, except for people directly to the west of Hawaii and Alaska, who I hope are having a productive Sunday.

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Fri, Sep 19th, 2014 -- 07:34 am
Today's Specials:

When I was a very young man, I sailed from King's Lynn, where nothing much has happened for longer than I care to state, though we did have a plague in 1665, long before I was born. Aye, it was no place for a restless man unless he put to sea, and so I did. Determined to bring some form of fame or at the least notoriety to my name, having come from such unromantic origins, I took to piracy once I had mastered the sail.

Oh, those were good days, when we used canoes to rob merchant ships off Nassau. How I delighted in swarming the big ships! It pains me to say it, but I did miss our little periaguas when I finally attained my big thirty-gunner, the Ranger. I hear you may know of my second, Teach, who in those days commanded the sloop I left for the Ranger, and sailed under my flag. He has some notoriety of his own, these days.

Together we took wine merchants and spirit merchants, and merchants of alcohol, and merchants who sold distilled liquors, and other such similar creatures. The shipful of flour bound for Havana, now, that was an error, and somewhat embarrassing, but you might say that in the right hands flour is still gold.

The time we raided a ship for their hats (having thrown ours overboard while drunk, the night before) may not be my finest moment, but one must admit it had style.

I never admitted to piracy outright whilst I was at it, and I never took an English ship, so that the front of privateerage in service of my country should at least be maintained. But I have taken a pardon now, as a pirate, so I suppose there's no harm to calling it such. I have it in mind to speak to the new governor of the Bahamas; he says he has a place in his government for pirate-catchers, and I should be just as happy taking ships if they be pirate ships, as I was taking merchants. Pirates are probably the wealthier.

And wouldn't it be funny if I took Jack Rackham, or my old friend Teach?

My name is Benjamin Hornigold, and I am the hat-thief, the rum-taker, the flour-snatcher, and the pirate-chaser of King's Lynn.

Yearly, on the 19th, I remind my readers that it is Talk Like A Pirate Day, not Talk Like Every Pirate Day.

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Sam's Original Work
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A Story Of Magic
Quotes
Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men's blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing insistency. Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon beauty. Think big.
-- Daniel Burnham

The Egotists' Club is one of the most genial places in London. It is a place to which you may go when you want to tell that odd dream you had last night, or to announce what a good dentist you have discovered. You must not mention golf or fish, however...as Lord Peter Wimsey said when the matter was mooted the other day in the smoking-room, those are things you can talk about anywhere.
-- Dorothy Sayers, The Man With The Copper Fingers

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all, I know that just to be alive is a grand thing."
-- Agatha Christie

The line between actually very serious and actually very funny is actually very thin.
-- Anon

All over Hollywood, they are continually advising me 'Oh, you mustn't say that. That will get you in a lot of trouble' when I remark that some picture or writer or director or producer is no good. I don't get it. If he isn't any good, why can't you say so? If more people would mention it, pretty soon it might start having some effect.
-- Humphrey Bogart

"At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid."
-— Friedrich Nietzsche

Abby: Is that a guess, or do you actually know where I'm going with this?
Gibbs: What do you think?
Abby: Well, I don't know. That's why I ask you.
Gibbs: Why don't you just tell me?
Abby: So, you don't know!
Gibbs: I want to make sure you know.
Abby: Hmm.
Gibbs: Hmm.
Abby: We should play poker sometime.
Gibbs: Yeah we should!
-- NCIS 1.14, "The Good Samaritan"

I am as idle as idle can be: one of the causes you have hit on, viz irresolution, the other being made fully aware that my noddle is not capacious enough to retain or comprehend Mathematics. Beetle hunting & such things I grieve to say is my proper sphere.
-- Charles Darwin

The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound Of The Baskervilles

Can I read books? Yes. Have I visited every star in the universe? No.
-- Stephen Fry

'I'm sure we can pull together, sir.'
Lord Vetinari raised his eyebrows. 'Oh, I do hope not, I really do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.'
-- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
-- HG Wells

If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home. You are like a pebble thrown into water; you become wet on the surface, but are never part of the water.
-- James Michener

It always seemed to me that those who claim to know that others are going to hell must already be very familiar with the way to get there.
--Mark Landers

I come in peace, I depart in gratitude.
-- Garrison Keillor

Information is the currency of democracy.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Up to the age of 40, I don't think there was a science-fiction book I hadn't read. I love them because they're a marvelous way — and a safe way, I might add — of saying nasty things about our own society.
-- Sydney Newman

You must believe in it and play it for real. If you don't do that how can you expect anyone else to?
-- Verity Lambert

You need more than a key to get into my ship. You need knowledge.
-- The Doctor

Maintaining integrity as a private detective is difficult; to preserve it for the hundred thousand words of a book would be impossible for me, as it has been for so many others. Nothing corrupts a man so deeply as writing a book; the myriad temptations are overpowering.
-- Rex Stout, The Mother Hunt

Chicago is not the most corrupt American city. It's the most theatrically corrupt.
-- Studs Terkel

I feel good when I am doing it and better than when I am not.
-- John Steinbeck, in response to the question "Why do you write?"

I dunno, this is a really hard job, I gotta come up with five opinions a week.
-- Cheers